BDSM Isn’t All About Sex

There. I said it.

While for many sex is an integral part of their BDSM practice, it is simply that. A part of it, and not for everyone. It is my goal to explore as many of the non-sexual aspects of it here as possible.

BDSM has become a hot topic in the last few years. It has been exceedingly surreal to watch the inherently secretive world I’ve belonged to for so long come into the limelight. In some ways, it has been wonderful, opening it to so many who thought they were alone in their needs. In others, it has done a great deal of harm, perpetuating negative stereotypes about the world of kink and those who live in it. One thing I am striving for in my work is showing a more well-rounded view of BDSM and the relationships that exist under that umbrella term.

For some, it is a way to spice up their sex life. For others, it is a way of life. Neither is more valid than the other. It all comes down to what works for the individuals involved. While I do love some good, kinky smut – both writing and reading – I also love the dynamics. The mind play. The endless ways couples (or triads, quads, etc) find to express their dynamic in everyday life. The healing effect a healthy BDSM relationship can have.

These aspects of BDSM aren’t often seen outside the community, much less in fiction. I’m out to change that, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride!